Isn't it time you trust that inner voice?
Sometimes GOD shows up in such a mighty, loud, clear and experienced powerful way that after the conversation, you have NO choice but to listen , be obedient and act on the instruction because you have no doubt in your heart that the message was for you.
If it causes pain ...cry through it. Smile through it. Celebrate through it. Why? Because you are mature enough and faithful enough to try and you know that similar to another painful event in your past, this too shall pass and it's here to help push you into your greater season.
Take your time. Honor yourself. Love yourself. Trust your intuition. Reach out to someone for support or accountability.
Don't forget that the world is full of people who are just as talented as you are in areas that you may struggle in. You are surrounded by and meet people daily who could have the next opportunity, recommendation, resource, a word of encouragement, life lesson or whatever. You are only going to be alone if you choose to.